(AWOWOTSCOA)

I posted the following in a game forum in which the game required a high degree of coordination among players to accomplish the goal.  There was no official mechanism for coordinating the various necessary actions and the coordination required quickly became a workload equivalent to operating a small business.  The only method of conducting this coordination was via forum posts.

Although players might only play 10 minutes to an hour each (or more), the operations of the game were 24/7/365.  What resulted was a continuous evolution of self proclaimed leaders declaring an organization, recruiting hundreds of anonymous members, establishing divisions of labor, a hierarchy, and, invariably, descending into chaos within a month or so (mostly due to self generated in-fighting).

Having been part of several of these “clans,” I began to notice the early symptoms of the impending self-destruction group dynamic: when seemingly every member of the clan began demanding recognition, rank or title, there was nigh over a week left before the only forum posts remaining contained words like “jerk” and “stupid”, rendering communication impossible.

Please note that I did NOT include the reference list in my original post!

The following is the letter I posted into the forum pages of one of those groups – “The PC Immortals”. I only hope the letter speaks for itself…

A Word of Warning on the Superfluous Creation of Acronyms (AWOWOTSCOA)

Let me start out by summarizing my painful induction into the mind-numbing world of acronyms so you can see that I am indeed a SMA (Subject Matter Expert).

A full two years prior to being commissioned by the CinC as an LT in the ARNG, I graduated a 4 of 5 from IET. In fact, it was so long ago that it was still called BCT, not IET. All the same, its where the FNG’s get their first taste of PT, BCS and all the T, C and S from the SMCT (LVL 1 and 2). My first assignment was with a standard MTOE AVN unit as the 3/5 leader. I did well, and eventually received a promotion to 1LT and an early assignment as the CO. In more recent years, I’ve been assigned as the S2, Asst. SPO and Asst. S3 for an RSG. Of course, this was a new unit reorganized from a TDA SPT BDE, so there were a lot of growing pains. Early last year, for instance I had to go TDY on AD for training to become DMOSQ as a 35D. I have also done brief stints in the DCSOPS, JFHQ and in the JOC. (I prefer COTTADS over ADSW, but I take what I can get.)

My longest assignment, and the one that exposed me to the most ridiculous of the ridiculous, was a T10 short tour as an LNO to NGBLL in DC! As you can imagine, coordinating with the CNGB, the CJFC, and both the DANG and the DARNG was a complete SNAFU!

[I must pause to say that my peers read up to this point and don't realize its a joke!]

So: someone in the PC Immortals got themselves a brand new, shiny RAG (Random Acronym Generator) and can’t seem to find the OFF button! For the love of God, please stop. I have an adequate supply of secret codes in my life already! You’re going to hurt someone with that thing!

The only thing I need to be a good IAL (Immortal-at-Large) is the name of the current leader (HMFIC) and the world we’re in! I mean, what do I care that the IA is currently the HMFIC because the IE couldn’t tell the IA that the HC logged in ASAP? OMG! I’m getting AIBF! (Acronym Induced Brain Freeze!)

V/R,

CPT W

SMA	Subject Matter Expert
CinC	Commander in Chief, i.e., President, aka, POTUS or President of the United States
LT	Lieutenant
ARNG	Army National Guard
IET	Initial Entry Training
BCT	Basic Combat Training, i.e., “Bootcamp”
FNG	“The” New Guy
PT	Physical Training
BCS	Basic Combat Skills
T,C&S	Task, Condition and Standard
SMCT	Soldiers’ Manual of Common Tasks
MTOE	Modified Table of Organization/Equipment
AVN	Aviation (Branch)
3/5	Fuel and Ammunition
1LT	First Lieutenant
CO	Company Commander
S2	Intelligence Officer
SPO	Plans Officer
S3	Operations Officer
RSG	Regional Support Group
TDA	Table of Distribution / Allowances
SPT BDE	Support Brigade
TDY	Temporary Duty (Assignment)
AD	Active Duty
DMOSQ	Duty – Military Operational Specialty Qualified
35D	(My new “MOS”)
MOS	Military Operational Specialty, i.e., my “job title”
DCSOPS	(The Office of the) Deputy Chief of Staff, Operations
JFHQ	Joint Force Headquarters
JOC	Joint Operations Center
COTTADS	CONUS, Temporary Tour Active Duty
CONUS	Continental United States
ADSW	Active Duty, Special Work
T10	Title 10, (US Code)
LNO	Liaison Officer
NGBLL or NGB-LL	National Guard Bureau – Office of Legislative Liaison
DC	(Washington)
CNGB	Chief, National Guard Bureau
CJFC	Chief, Joint Forces Command
DANG	Director, Air National Guard
DARNG	Director, Army National Guard
SNAFU	Situation Normal: All Messed Up
OFF	Off
HMFIC	Head Person In Charge
V/R	Very Respectfully (Often used when not true)

As it happens, we were playing a racing game called Gran Turismo and I had just won a race using my son’s favorite car, called a "Tickford."  Now, I sometimes keep a car for sentimental reasons, such as, I always wanted to have that car in real life, but for the most part – in game – I select my favorites based on how well they will compete in races.  He, on the other hand, selects his favorites based on how cool they are, i.e., "that green one has a cool orange stripe!"

The prize for this particular victory was a car we absolutely needed to compete in a model-specific race; and a promising one, if tuned correctly.  But – you guessed it: he didn’t like the car’s appearance.  After some convincing, he decided to try the car out on a test track…

It was horrible, the car slid off practically every turn!  It had lousy acceleration, practically no brakes and just, generally, didn’t respond well.  I suggested that maybe he wasn’t being fair with his criticisms and he retorted that I should "try it yourself!"  And so I did…

I found the car to be acceptable, and said so.  I even noticed a certain familiarity about it’s responsiveness.  I said, "it doesn’t seem to be any different than your Tickford" (the favorite).  This was obviously not an acceptable viewpoint, based on his sarcastic reply.

Still trying to placate him – because we really DID need the car – I suggested that he let me tune it and then test the car again, to which he reluctantly agreed.

When I got to the "Tune Up" area of the game, I found that all the tuning had already been done – exactly to the set-up we usually build.  Then it dawned on me: we never got in the new car.  We had been testing the Tickford!

Note: he has caught me in similar "Eat Crow" situations, but those stories aren’t nearly as amusing!