I had maintained a cease fire with the spiders for a couple of decades. It was an uneasy truce, of course – it’s difficult for them to maintain the terms of the accord, which were simply: if you don’t let my wife see you, I won’t fire.
Oh, yeah: I should probably note that I prefer to combat bugs with my BB gun. The advantage in stand-off range easily makes up for the bad PR at home. Of course, I make every attempt to make these operations as covert as possible.
And so the truce continued. If I’d spy an advanced scout, I might fire a warning shot with a rolled up newspaper – just as a reminder. Oddly enough, it wasn’t the domestic spider clan that launched the epic offensive. Even more oddly, they didn’t attack my wife – they made a full frontal assault on my main body. And now that I think of it, that term applies literally!
I had spent a day camping